


Under (the) Cover

by MariaMagica



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 3rd chapter is NSFW, Accepting Each Other's Feelings, Accidental Kissing, Boyfriends, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hangover, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, I like to think Mary adopted the name Seven gave him and abandoned his old one, It's ambigious what happened to V and Rika but no one is unhappy in this universe, Light Angst, Light Spoilers for 707's route, Light Spoilers for the secret endings, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, RFA Party, Romance, Tattoos, Tsunderes, Unable to deal with feelings, VandeRan-centric, oblivious dorks in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2018-10-17 18:16:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10599501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaMagica/pseuds/MariaMagica
Summary: For some reason, Saeran always gets nervous when Vanderwood's around.





	1. Under (the) Cover

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was just supposed to be one drabble but it turned into a series, so I decided to make a separate fic. xD Please ship this rarepair with me! <3
> 
> Art made by the amazing [Hini Parlous](https://hiniparlousblog.tumblr.com/), Vanderan God and muse!

Saeran shivered as he tugged the blanket closer to his face, trying to make it completely shield him in the hope that he’d become warmer. The heat had been turned up, he had a thick blanket on top of him and yet he was still freezing. It didn’t help that his head felt like a scrambled egg, accompanied by the burning pain in his face.

Saeyoung and MC had looked forward to their outing all week, and he didn’t want to be a burden, so he acted like he was alright when they left. Now as he lay on the large couch in the living room, too tired to move to his bed, he wondered if Hell would be warmer.

The sound of calm footsteps on concrete alerted him he had a visitor. He didn’t have to guess who it was; for weeks on end the same guy visited irregularly, taking care of the chaos his stupid brother and equally nutty partner created around the house. For all the times he complained about not being a maid, he sure acted like one.

Every time he came by, Saeran felt flustered. Mary was Seven’s close friend and he had helped them during… _that_ time, but he always got nervous around him. The older man seemed to fuss a lot too which made matters worse.

This time was no different. Vanderwood walked into the living room, his arms already full with random crap he had picked up on the way, and halted when he saw Saeran on the couch.

“What the- Are you alright?” He asked, as if Saeran had broken an arm or something. The former agent dropped all things on the carpet and headed towards him. As much as he wanted to, Saeran couldn’t push himself further into the couch and tried not to feel embarrassed when Vanderwood gently touched his forehead.

“…’m fine.” Saeran angrily mumbled, face half under the blanket. The cold racked through his body and made him shiver violently again, feeling goosebumps all over. Vanderwood sighed and moved away from him. When he stayed out of sight for a while, Saeran couldn’t stop himself from feeling sad - maybe he wasn’t as interesting to be around like Saeyoung.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed with how woozy he felt, but at some point he felt the couch dip and he opened his eyes to Vanderwood kneeling next to him, holding a cup of what smelled like tea.

“Drink this, it helps.”

His gaze was warm, gentle and _much too close_. “…told you, I’m fine.”

“Stop being so bloody stubborn! Do you want to get better or not?” Vanderwood gave him no room to answer as he carefully lifted Saeran up until they both sat upright on the couch. Dizzy from the fever, Saeran wobbled until Vanderwood wrapped a warm arm around him to keep him steady, still holding the tea in front of him.

He hoped dearly that Vanderwood thought the blush on his face was from the illness and accepted the cup, taking small sips. The sweetness of the honey made the tea taste pleasant, and soon he had downed it all, the liquid warming him up from the inside. Vanderwood quickly put the cup on the ground and wrapped the redhead properly with the blanket.

The chills refused to leave him. Automatically, his body leaned towards the biggest source of warmth and only when his face rested on a warm and comfortable chest, hearing a heartbeat that rapidly increased in tempo, did he realize what he was doing. Saeran looked up and saw Vanderwood looking away from him, blushing as much as he was, but doing nothing to push him off. When he attempted to scoot away, the strong arm held him firmly in place.

“It’s fine. Body heat warms you up faster.” Vanderwood shifted so he was half lying, half sitting on the armrest of the couch with a cocooned Saeran on top of him.

Too sick to argue, Saeran resigned himself to the situation and felt the older man breathe in and out slowly, his head going along with the movement. As the heartbeat slowed down, his eyelids started to droop and peaceful sleep overtook him, finally feeling warm.

***

The heat was making him drowsy. Vanderwood browsed the Tripter app, trying to keep perfectly still. Saeran’s hair was tickling his neck, his body was glowing like a radiator, and Vanderwood’s leg was starting to get pins and needles from the weight on it but he refused to move so the younger man could get his much needed rest. Definitely Seven’s twin, matching his stubbornness and idiocy.

Saeran was muttering something in his sleep. Gently, he pushed away strands of hair from his forehead, and was met with a serene expression. The word cute drifted into Vanderwood’s mind, and he flushed for thinking so.

Excited chatter came from the hallway and like geese, Seven and MC walked in making too much noise. Shocked, they gaped at the sight of the two and Seven was about to say something most likely ridiculous, when MC slapped her hand in front of his mouth. Quickly the two of them ran off to the nearest room, excited and dismayed and all around annoying.

Vanderwood facepalmed. He was never going to hear the end of this.


	2. Partner in Time

“Your boyfriend went to the corner store.”  
   
He gave Seven the slowest, most irritated eyebrow lift he could. Just when he thought he had heard the worst nonsense from his friend’s mouth, Seven managed to think of something worse. And he had literally arrived a minute ago. “Pardon?”  
   
“Your boyfriend! My baby brother! Don’t tell me it’s over already!” Seven mock-pouted.  
   
“Why would you think that? He avoids me constantly.”  
   
“You guys were so cute two days ago!”  
   
Ah, he was referring to the sleeping on the couch incident. Vanderwood rolled his eyes.  “He was sick. I only warmed him up.” Really, it didn’t mean anything. But the memory still made his cheeks turn pink.  
   
Seven nearly fell out of his computer chair to grin at him. “As the adult, it’s your responsibility to make sure he’s well taken care of!”  
   
“What?! We’re both adults! I’m only a few years older than both of you! And we’re NOT dating!!” Seven could give painkillers a headache, he swore to God. The ex-hacker ignored him and kept saying things to push him out of the house towards his brother, making him more flustered.  
   
Whatever. Forget about Seven, the chaos in the house is more important-  
   
“Also, we’re out of detergent.”  
   
Bloody typical.  
   
***  
   
Saeran made sure to fill his shopping basket full of sweets. How his brother could eat those gross chips, he would never know. Maybe he should get something healthy to avoid becoming sick again. Waking up like that was the most embarrassing thing ever. Stupid Vanderwood, who stayed calm and collected while he freaked out. Stupid brother for making fun of him. He was not in love, damn it!  
   
An older woman in the next aisle kept staring at him, making him nervous. When he wanted to head to the cash register, she suddenly blocked his path.  
   
“Hey cutie! You look so much like someone I know, are you perhaps-“  
   
“I don’t think so.” Saeran quickly mumbled, holding the plastic basket closer to him. He tried to sidestep her, but she got closer, her gaze predatory.  
   
“Hey now, I’m just making sure! Be a good boy and _**hold still**_.”  
   
Something about those words made him freeze. She touched his right arm and it was as if she knew he was hiding something there under his sweater. Thoughts rushed into his head before he could stop them. All at once her eyes turned green and he was small and helpless. Images of a dark room flashed before him, remembering with the scent of iron, the touch of unwanted hands on his skin, the _pain oh God make it stop please-_  
   
“Please stop.” He tried to yell but it barely came out a whisper. The woman didn’t notice his panic and his vision was going dark.  
   
A warm arm draped around his shoulders, much broader and heavier than she could possibly be, slowly pulling him back to reality. A familiar comfortable warmth chased away the wooziness and feelings of pain. He looked to his side and saw Vanderwood who held him close, hugging him to his side.  
   
“Stop hitting on my boyfriend.” He glared at her, causing the woman to let go of Saeran.

  
   
The invisible bubble the older man created around them made him feel safe. It was tempting to cling to his jacket, but Saeran kept his hands around the handle of the basket.  
   
“Your- Ah. Erm… Sorry.” Sheepishly, the woman backed away. Another stern glare from the former agent made her run off and leave the store in a hurry. Saeran took a deep breath as his muscles relaxed.  
   
“Are you alright?” Those gentle brown eyes looked at him in concern once again. Brain registering what had just happened, he jumped away from the older man, nearly dropping his basket. The temperature suddenly went up a degree or two, his face turning redder than his hair.  
   
“Y-You’re NOT my boyfriend!” He screamed, causing several shoppers to stare at them.  
   
Vanderwood crossed his arms and gave him a confused frown. “I know. It was the quickest thing I could think of to get her to stop. You looked like you were going to pass out.”  
   
Oh. Right. That made sense. He pushed down the sad twinge he felt in his stomach.  
   
“Yeah, well, I didn’t need you to help me!” He marched to the cash register in a huff, hearing Vanderwood sigh.  
   
While he paid for his candy, he couldn’t help glance behind him at the taller man, who grabbed a bottle of detergent. He didn’t feel guilty. He didn’t.  
   
***  
   
Vanderwood did not expect to find Saeran standing next to the door when he left the store. “You waited for me?”  
   
“We’re going the same way, idiot! It would be rude to let you walk alone.” The redhead snarkily replied and started walking. He blinked in confusion a few times before following suit.  
   
The trek to the bunker was filled with awkward silence. Vanderwood attempted to give the young man his space by staying behind him, but to his surprise, the moment he slowed down, Saeran did as well. At some point they walked next to each other, Saeran hugging his bag close to his chest.  
   
“Thanks.” It was so soft he almost thought he imagined it.  
   
“You’re welcome.”  
   
Saeran’s face lit up like a lighthouse. “I didn’t say anything!” He yelled, running off. Vanderwood sighed again. The redhead was moodier than anyone he had ever met.  
   
But, he realized, he kind of liked it. The thought made him blush, glad no one could see it.

When they got back, Seven faced them with the biggest smile. “And? How was your date?”

And just like that, Saeran vanished from sight, running into his room and locking the door.

“SEVEN! We are NOT DATING!!”

“Lolololol~!”


	3. Clandestine Operation (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is NSFW!

Vanderwood didn’t know if he had done something to upset the God of karma. Seven had finally ceased with the tired boyfriend jokes and actually asked him in all seriousness to look at his latest toy invention. This seemed like a perfectly fine idea until he got completely drenched in some kind of chemically-smelling liquid that had barely missed his eyes.

Seven was more distraught over his broken toy than the mess that was all over Vanderwood and the living room. “Noooo!!! My first prototype!” He cried, falling onto his knees on the carpet. Vanderwood’s eye twitched from anger.

At least MC had the decency to look guilty. “Mary, maybe you should take a shower.”

She didn’t have to tell him twice. Without delay, he headed to the bathroom, leaving MC to comfort a wailing Seven. Once there, he quickly stripped and chucked his clothes in the washer and dryer combo, annoyed to find there were bits of plastic sticking to his face.

The warm water and soap were a welcome relief for his skin, washing off the sticky oil and God knows what else. He let the droplets run over his face as he ran his fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of becoming cleaner as bubbles carried the filth down his legs onto the tiles.

He heard a gasp behind him. Startled, he whirled around, finding Saeran in the door opening, his hand still on the door handle. His eyes were wide, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Shit! “Erm… sorry. Your brother’s toy blew up in my face.” He stammered as he tried to rationalize the situation. His face turned completely red and he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, holding them awkwardly in the air.

“Y-yeah, they tend to do that.” Saeran replied. The younger man still didn’t move. His eyes seemed fixated on him and Vanderwood felt the need to cover up his scars, feeling self-conscious.

“Erm…”

Suddenly Saeran shot out of his stupor. “SORRY!” He blurted out and ran away, slamming the bathroom door shut. Vanderwood stared at the door for a while, not sure what just happened.

At least he didn’t get angry with him… right? Should he apologize, even if it was just a mistake? Would it make him angry to remind him of this? His face was so red. If he was embarrassed, why didn’t he leave right away?

He was lost in thought for so long that the running water had become cold and the dryer beeped, indicating his clothes were done.

***

Saeran threw himself on his bed after slamming his door shut and shoved his head into the pillow in the hope he could somehow forget what just happened. His face burned up from how embarrassed he was. Stupid Vanderwood - didn’t he know how to lock a door?! And why was he taking a shower in his home anyway?! He grabbed his phone and started up some dumb dating game, hoping to forget everything.

No matter how much he tried to distract himself, the image of the naked man returned to burn brightly in his mind’s eye. He recalled every detail, every well-toned muscle, the long scars on his upper left leg, how smooth his chest was and his stomach, soft light brown hairs that formed a small trial all the way down to his-

He clenched the pillow and stopped his train of thought, shocked at himself. As he shifted, he realized his trousers felt uncomfortably tight. Saeran rolled to his side, ordered himself to think something else, t _his is that annoying busybody who won’t leave him alone, really brain really?_

But then he remembered Vanderwood’s hands brushing through his long hair, soap sliding past his broad shoulders and Saeran’s hand snaked past the waistline of his pants before he could tell himself not to, hissing upon contact. He was so _hard_ already.

As his hand moved on its own accord, he kept his head in the pillow to muffle his sounds, small gasps leaving his mouth every time his palm brushed the tip of his cock. Precum started to coat his fingertips as the memory returned and his imagination took over.

He’s closed the bathroom door behind him. This time, he moves towards the taller man, not away. The shower makes his clothes wet but he doesn’t care, not when he’s pushing Vanderwood against the wall, relishing the goosebumps on his rough-toned skin, the way the man bites his lip as he wages a mental battle between respect and _desire_. While Saeran’s fingers slowly trail down the former agent’s body, feeling every trained muscle shift beneath them, they reach down between the man’s legs, and he feels _it,_ larger than what he saw and-

An intense spark of pleasure travelled through his body, making his breath hitch. The illusion breaks as a part of him still tries to hold back. But every tiny amount of protest is drowned out when his member throbs and begs for release and the scene is back in his head, more vivid than ever.

It’s he who is pressed against the cold wall tiles, the lack of control makes him shiver more than his wet clothes. The former agent gently caresses his face, and he remembers the feeling too well, his skin constantly craves for it. Somehow his clothes disappear, and Vanderwood pushes his whole body close. He’s hard and needy too and Saeran gasps, tries not to buck against him, scared of wanting too much. But Vanderwood doesn’t back away and claims his mouth, kissing him deep and rough. The lips are gone sooner than he’d like, but he withholds any form of protest when the brown-haired man slowly kneels down. Soon he’s on the floor, his strong hands holding his thighs almost painfully. Saeran’s member is engulfed by his mouth and it’s too hot, _too much_ -

His free hand grabbed hold of the mattress as every muscle in his body contracted, making him see only white for a few moments. Through the haze he feels his hand getting coated with his essence and he forces himself not to make a sound.

Soon the intensity subsided and all he was left with was shame in the form of a sticky mess in his boxers. He quickly rummaged through the drawers in his nightstand, hoping tissues would somehow erase his deed.

A knock on the door made him jump. Had he locked his own door? He couldn’t remember!

“Saeran? It’s me. I’m.. sorry for earlier.” Unlike his brother or himself, Vanderwood didn’t attempt to barge in. Stupid Vanderwood and his stupid common sense.

He gulped, trying not to look at the door as if he were standing there. “I-it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you-”

Oh God. “No! I said it was fine!” He yelled as his brain conjured new kinds of images.

There was a sigh followed by silence. When it was obvious he had left, Saeran cleaned himself up as fast as he could and lay flat out on the bed, nothing but confusion in his head.


	4. Crime of Passion

He wasn’t imagining it. Certain items from his bag seemed to disappear nowadays when he visited Seven’s home and reappeared at the end of the day, after he thought them lost due to his own forgetfulness. First it was his pen, then his scarf, and now out of all things, his jacket wasn’t hanging on the coat rack anymore. Something smelled fishy, and he suspected a certain fish with a numerical name.

“Seven! Why do you keep taking my stuff?!” Vanderwood demanded as he walked into the living room. God knows what that man was up to - if it resulted in him covered in gunk again, he would seriously consider resigning as ‘maid’.

The redhead peered at him over the rim of his glasses, screwdriver in his hand as he tinkered on a broken toy, making a mess of the table he had just painstakingly cleaned. “Your stuff? I didn’t take anything?”

His reply, even with his reputation as prankster, sounded earnest and it threw him off. But who otherwise would temporarily steal his things? MC didn’t strike him as that type of person (though did he know her true self?) and Saeran had taken to hiding from him ever since that erroneous shower event. He still felt guilty about that, but Saeran had claimed it not to be a problem.

MC’s voice attracted both their attention. “Come on, Saeyoung will definitely want to see!” She dragged a reluctant Saeran into the living room and for a moment, Vanderwood forgot how to breathe.

Saeran wore a very elegant outfit, ready for a formal evening. His black dress shirt and pants suit helped highlight his white silken vest, complete with a small black handkerchief sticking out of the chest pocket as decoration. The ocean-colored tie accentuated his eyes, which were turned away from everyone. The pink on his cheekbones and the way he fiddled with the folded sleeves clearly showed his embarrassment, but it only added to his charm.

 _Handsome_. There was no other word for it, Vanderwood realized, as he could only stare.

“Woah Saeran! You look great! Definitely ready for your first RFA party!” Seven jumped up from his chair, bouncing from excitement.

When Saeran looked up, ready to retort, he noticed him and his anger turned to panic. His attempt to flee was thwarted by MC, who held his arm tight. “Oh no you don’t! Let your brother and I have a few more seconds to look at your fashionable self!”

“You will see it all evening at the party.” Saeran mumbled, his eyes darting to Vanderwood and away again, his cheeks even more red. Seven and MC acted like crazed paparazzi, the two of them making photos of him with their phones from different angles in glee.

The former agent realized he hadn’t moved for the last few minutes and shifted his stance, trying to move his gaze away. To no avail, for his eyes wandered right back.

Pleased, MC grabbed Seven’s hand and pulled him to the other side of the room where the computers were located. “Let’s share these with the rest of the RFA!” The two of them wasted no time trying to fight the other on who got to upload their pictures first, leaving Saeran and Vanderwood behind to sigh at their antics.

Now it was just the two of them. His heartbeat increased in speed ten-fold. He felt the desperate need to say something.

“You look great.” As he mentally beat himself up for sounding dumb, Saeran finally looked him in the eye. For the first time in the Choi household, he felt inadequate with his casual clothes and messy ponytail that he wore to clean.

“Thanks.” Saeran gave him the tiniest smile and it made him feel warm. “I don’t like it though. It’s tight and uncomfortable.”

“It’s only for the party.” His attempt to comfort Saeran only made the younger man frown. “I’ll be there too.” He blurted out and nearly tripped over his words to correct himself. “As a bodyguard, I mean. Han Jumin asked me to.” It wasn’t like him to act like this, a little voice in his brain said.

Saeran folded his arms. He had become completely defensive, no longer looking at him. “It’s not like I want to be there. My brother is forcing me to.”

It was expected, normal that the more sober twin didn’t want to be at the party. So why did his words, his stance make him feel sad? Did he think him mentioning he would be there would make a difference?

Vanderwood shook his head. He was being silly and he had a job to do. “I’ll get back to cleaning.” Saeran nodded and took the cue to leave for his room immediately.

***

His chest would have exploded if he had stayed there a second longer. Saeran took a deep breath after he closed the door. A light brown jacket lay on his bed and he grabbed it as he sat down, holding it possessively. It smelled like _him_ and it made him happy and anxious and ashamed all at once. The constant need to take something from the tall man was something he didn’t understand and didn’t dare ask Saeyoung or MC about.

Like the rest, he would return the item before Vanderwood left. He didn’t want to steal it, he wanted to… pretend it was for him. Just for now.

Vanderwood said he looked nice. And that he would be at the party too. Suddenly he really looked forward to the day of the party, and kept his outfit on a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RFA party coming up next~


	5. Agent Compromised

So many people. Was this normal for an RFA party? Saeran felt completely overwhelmed even standing in one place, everything around him blurring to vague objects moving about and melting together. His brother had promised him he would be back soon, and that was what? Five, ten minutes ago? He wasn’t even sure anymore.

Maybe he was really good in hiding his discomfort, or perhaps no one was really paying attention to him. One of the guests tried to initiate a conversation, but all he did was nod and she soon left with a glum expression. He decided he had to get out for a moment; calm down a bit.

The balcony was an oasis in the desert of noise. Staring into the distance of the cloudy evening allowed him to take a breath. Going to a party this large had definitely been a move too bold for him. Saeyoung and MC had offered to stick around him all evening, but he hated the idea of being babysat and pretty much told them to do what they normally did.

Down below, he saw some men in what he called penguin uniforms patrol around, scanning the surrounding area with a critical eye, metal C&R pins glowing in the lantern light. Saeran spotted Vanderwood easily, his shabby long hair standing out among the short-shaven men.

He looks really good in a suit…

Vanderwood peered upwards and Saeran instinctively bolted away from the marble ledge, nearly bumping into someone in his rush backwards. His face felt hot despite the goosebumps on his arms.

This wasn’t fair. All he had wanted was a simple kind of life, and he didn’t know what was happening to him, or why, and he was too embarrassed to ask Saeyoung anything.

A server carrying a tray of wines in slim glasses approached him and Saeran was desperate for any type of distraction right now.

***

His feet ached with how many times he had patrolled the perimeter. Multiple times Vanderwood had bumped into several members of the RFA, each of them offering him a drink, a chair or some form of comfort, but his own sense of duty and possibly paranoia allowed him no rest while he was working.

Every guest looked the same to him and how they could all keep up their smiles while talking to strangers all night was a mystery to him. The first people he saw when he walked into the large building were Seven and Saeran, the two of them apart from the crowd.

Wait, did Saeran just wobble? Vanderwood rushed over to them.

“Are you seriously drunk?” Seven glanced at the 3 empty wine glasses on the table nearby.  
   
Saeran looked like he was about to throw up, flushed from his own body heat, his handsome party outfit slightly crumpled. Vanderwood quickly confiscated the glass in Saeran’s hand and MC popped up around the corner.  
   
“I will bring him to the car.” She gently guided Saeran away who offered no resistance, making sure he didn’t trip.  
   
“It’s my fault.” Seven said distraught. “I got too caught up in fixing the animated presentation for the speakers, and I nearly forgot about Saeran. And now he drank himself into a stupor because he get too anxious. If only I-“

“Don’t blame yourself. We all assumed he would be ready for a big event. Even Saeran claimed so.” Still, Vanderwood chastised himself for not taking better precautions.

Before Seven could counter argue how he was to blame, Jaehee approached them in a hurry, nearly masking all her worry.

“Luci- Saeyoung. We need you and MC to help out with the guests.” Knowing Jaehee, she wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t needed.

When Seven started to panic, about to explain why he had to go, Vanderwood rested his hand on the redhead’s shoulder. “I’ll bring Saeran home. You guys have a job to do and I’m finished with my shift.”

Vanderwood smiled when he received a relieved nod.

***

Things were blurry inside Saeyoung’s fancy race car. His head buzzed happily but his heart hurt. He had ruined things for his brother and his future sister-in-law all because he was stubborn and tried to solve things his way.

The door opened and a blurry long-haired brunette came into his view. Saeran sighed.

“I’m sorry MC.”

MC didn’t reply, seeming to rummage with something in the front seat. He didn’t blame her; no doubt she was upset.

“I didn’t want you and Seven to feel bad. Damn, this is not how I wanted my first RFA party to go.” Saeran bit his lip. “I just got so nervous. Not the party but…”

He sighed. If there was anyone that might understand him, it might be MC. The liquid courage inside of him helped bring out the words easier as well.

“It’s Vanderwood. I just… I can’t stand it! He’s always just around! And I feel… I always feel… weird when he’s around.” Saeran waved his arms in the air as if doing so made it all clearer. “And the worst part of it is that… I want him to be around. Around me. It also feels good. And I don’t understand. But it does and I don’t know what to do.”

Finally he rested his hands on his silk trousers, clenching the fabric.

When MC didn’t reply again, Saeran looked up from the car seat. To his confusion, there was no one. Had he imagined it? One thing was for sure, he wouldn’t try alcohol anytime soon again.

***

“Thanks Mary.” MC accepted Seven’s keys from Vanderwood. On behalf of the twins, she was able to find a compromise where she could leave the party to bring Saeran home. Normally Vanderwood wouldn’t have allowed it, though now he was only happy.

He should have told Saeran he wasn’t MC when he entered the car. Hearing the redhead talk about him like that… Vanderwood gripped his uniform, feeling his heart trying to jump out of his chest.

Facing Saeran tomorrow was going to be extremely difficult… But he knew he had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh what will Vanderwood do? :O


	6. For His Eyes Only

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a new chapter! Sorry for the wait, real life is so crazy busy. Please enjoy!

 

> Unknown: I don’t get why me being drunk was such a big deal  
> Unknown: You guys worry too much, I’m an adult
> 
> Jumin Han: Saeran, you knocked over a chair and apologized to it.
> 
> ZEN: You shook hands with the Ambassador’s wife and said her dress looked like a pineapple
> 
> Yoosung★: That was so funny though
> 
> Jaehee Kang: I don’t think the Mexican Ambassador is coming back next time…
> 
> Unknown: …  
> Unknown: Sorry
> 
> ZEN: Honestly I’ve done worse
> 
> Jumin Han: True.
> 
> ZEN: HEY!! D:<
> 
> Yoosung★: Same here  
> Yoosung★: At least Zen isn’t a lightweight ;;;;;
> 
> MC: Believe me when I say everyone goes through their ‘drunk at an RFA party’ phase!
> 
> Unknown: I appreciate you guys trying to cheer me up
> 
> 707: I love you lil bro but you gotta watch the alcohol
> 
> Unknown: Don’t worry, I learned my lesson  
> Unknown: I’m almost done with groceries, I’ll be home in a few minutes
> 
> MC: See you soon!

***

Saeran put his phone back in his trouser pocket as the cashier finished ringing up his stuff. He remembered only bits of the RFA party, having woken up with a headache and burning embarrassment. Saeyoung made sure to make him drink lots of water, which thankfully reduced nauseous he felt.

As for the RFA, they reacted milder than he expected, which immediately made him paranoid. But the expected punishment never came; Saeyoung’s friends were not cruel. Something he still had to get used to, even after all this time.

He accepted the bag from the cashier with a nod. No harassing figures in the store this time at least. Despite his brother asking him to rest, he was determined to do his chores even with a headache.

Outside, the sky looked dark and threatened to burst. Saeran figured he could make it if he walked fast enough. The rain that followed minutes after proved him otherwise. He made a run for it, arriving completely drenched at the bunker. He was glad the security system recognized him and let him in right away.

“Saeyoung, can you bring me a towel?” he called out, taking off his shoes and socks, water dripping all over the hallway.

A towel was tossed on his head, which Saeran gladly accepted.

“Thanks Saey- Oh.” It took one quick glance to see Vanderwood standing next to him, and anxiety hit him like a truck.

The former agent gave him a warm smile. He knew he should thank Vanderwood, but his mouth refused to open. Damn it, he was too hung over to deal with his messed-up feelings towards this guy now.

“Do you want another towel?” Vanderwood asked, already holding it out.

Saeran shook his head and let the towel drape over his head, pretending to dry his hair. Anything to avoid eye-contact.

“No lecture on how I could have gotten sick in the rain?” He mumbled, desperate to hide how flustered he was.

“I’m sure you are aware of that already. I often forget you’re not like your brother. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from worrying, especially last night.”

Great, he made Vanderwood worry too. Saeran bit his lip. “You don’t have to look out for me, you know.”

“But I do. And… I guess I want to.”

That made him lift the towel. Vanderwood’s normally serious appearance was absent, his face red and avoiding Saeran’s gaze. Saeran had never seen him this nervous. “What… do you mean?”

Vanderwood moved closer and draped the second towel over his shoulders, gently patting his arms dry. “I’m sorry for making you nervous. I didn’t mean to, but I was too busy fussing about you and your brother to consider how you felt. Last night… What you said, I was awake all night wondering what my true feelings are.”

Oh God. What did he say last night?! Saeran wanted to sink through the ground, instead he just kept staring as the brunet continued.

“I owe Saeyoung a great deal, even if I don’t show it. He is family to me. I thought that I felt the same to you at first, when I vowed to protect you both after what you two had gone through. But lately, every time I see you... You said it felt good when I’m around you, and I can’t deny that I feel the same.”

Wait, _what_? A million questions ran through Saeran’s head as Vanderwood finally looked him straight in the eyes, hyper aware of the agent still holding the towel covering him.

“This morning I realized it. I constantly think about you. The last visits here I had almost forgotten to check up on Saeyoung despite that being my primary goal.” The brunet took a deep breath. “I… I like you, Saeran.”

That could not have been interpreted in any other way. Saeran was sure his heart had stopped.

“I-I know I’m overwhelming you and perhaps I misunderstood you. If you can’t return my feelings, I understand. You can tell me and I’ll stop visiting for a while-” Vanderwood rambled on uncharacteristically.

None of the word waterfall reached Saeran. It was pure noise, cancelling out anything in his own mind. Vanderwood was still so very close to him. This time, it sparked something else besides his nervousness. Something pleasant that consumed him and made him dull.

On pure instinct, he closed the tiny space between them, kissing the taller man.

A millisecond later his brain caught up and started screaming at him, causing the redhead to quickly push Vanderwood away, both with eyes wide.

 “I… I...” Saeran stuttered.

“Vandy? When did you arrive? God, Saeran! You’re soaked!” Saeyoung appeared in the hallway at the worst possible time. “I bet Mary already told you off, but I will do it again!”

“Ineedtogo.” Saeran had run away before but never this fast, almost tripping just to get away.

Only when he had safely entered his bedroom and sat down against the door did he allow himself to breathe.

_Oh God. I messed up. I messed up so bad. I just kissed him for no reason._

_For no reason?_

_…What am I even doing?_

***

Vanderwood watched Saeran run and traced his lips with his fingers. That… was not one of the responses he had expected. He had expected to leave happy or disappointed. Instead he was confused by Saeran’s contradictory actions.

“Wow Mary, what did you say to him?” Saeyoung asked, side-eyeing him.

 “What I had to, Saeyoung. I’ll be off.” Vanderwood grabbed his leather jacket and headed towards the exit.

“What?? You just arrived!”

“I know.” The ball was in Saeran’s court now and last thing he wanted to do was pressure the younger man. It was already bad enough that he felt this way, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it – best get some closure and have Saeran simply hate him. Even if that would hurt him more than any of his past wounds had.

Vanderwood wondered if Saeyoung had an idea what was going on with that smirk. “See ya soon Vanderweed,” he heard the twin say just before he closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Saeran figure it out? Even I don't know! D=


	7. Covert Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edited on 1-1-2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while but I finally got the chance to write the next chapter! I hope you enjoy <3

Security patrols weren’t so terrible, but the paperwork was the worst. It made Vanderwood almost wish he would have to deal with a rogue hacker instead of writing down what he had seen and done all day, every day. Almost.

He yawned and stretched on his office chair, glancing around his small work space from his wooden desk. It was cozy, despite the gray filing cabinets. Clean, because he would be a massive hypocrite if it weren’t. The small windows showed the evening sky outside, a starry sky clear of clouds. Normally he’d be closing up, double-checking if the night patrol had showed up, and leaving for the bunker. The thought of Saeyoung whining when he nagged the redhead made him smile, but his mind quickly wandered to another Choi. His smile dropped.

Two days. Two days and he’s still not sure if he messed up. Not a word from either of the twins, and since Vanderwood had vowed to wait, he drowned himself in his job in the hopes to distract himself. His co-workers hadn’t noticed his increased productivity, though they would once he handed all his reports in.

That would be a fun conversation. _‘Working harder because of potential heartbreak._ ’ Even Zen would be confused. He wasn’t very active in the chatroom, so they didn’t notice a difference in his demeanor. Something he was thankful for – no need for more RFA drama right now.

Having had enough, Vanderwood tossed his pen on the stack of papers and planned to go home soon. He wanted to settle himself on the couch in front of his TV to watch a mindless reality show. Maybe he’d pick up some beer on the way. It’s been a while since he bought himself anything that wasn’t dinner.

Someone knocked on his door, surprising him. Jaehee kindly gave him a coffee before she left, and normally they were the part of only few willing to work this late. He stood up, his uniform making him more official than he felt he was.

Opening the door revealed someone he could not have anticipated. “Saeran?” he blurted out.

The Choi twin couldn’t look him in the eyes, gaze cast downwards. Saeran wore a cream-colored hoodie that covered most of his messy hair and seemed two sizes too big. With his hands in the front pouch, Vanderwood dared think he was adorable – _no, focus._

“Can I come in?” Saeran grumbled, obviously trying to be serious but failing, his voice changing pitch at every word.

“Of course.” He stepped aside, letting Saeran trudge in. A part of him wondered if he should leave the door open to allow Saeran to leave when he wanted to, but opted to close it lest nosy co-workers passed by.

Saeran took the time to inspect his office, fascinated to be in a place he’d never seen before. The stack of papers on his desk held his attention the longest. An awkward tension hung thick in the air, unnerving Vanderwood.

Finally, the redhead turned around, eyes full of shame staring at him from under the hood. “I’m sorry.”

That startled him. “W-what for?”

Saeran’s eyes narrowed. “What do you think? I kissed you out of nowhere!” His cheeks blossomed pink while saying it.

Vanderwood wanted to retort, to say that he never thought any ill of Saeran’s confusing action, but decided to stay silent when the sober twin relaxed visibly. He gestured for Saeran to sit down on the wooden chair, but Saeran didn’t notice, staring at the floor once more.

“Saeyoung sat down with me last night on the carpet of my room. When he does that, I know he’s serious.”

Keeping his full attention towards Saeran, Vanderwood leaned against his desk, crossing his arms. Saeyoung rarely was serious, even in their past missions the hacker tended to joke about it all, which drove Vanderwood mad at times… But he knew Saeyoung did care. To see him openly showing it around his brother warmed the jaded ex-agent.

“He pretty much forced me to tell him all I had been thinking and doing for the past days. When I was done, he laughed. He _freaking_ laughed.” Saeran frowned, emulating the anger he must have felt when his brother did that, before he closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. “And then he told me I must really like you.”

Vanderwood felt his heart lurch. Saeran pulled down his hoodie and looked upwards to meet the brunet’s eyes.

“I thought about it. And… I think he’s right. No, I know he’s right.” He puffed up his chest and balled his fists. “I like you. And I hate you.”

Vanderwood blinked, stunned. “O-okay,” he could only say.

Saeran grimaced. "Because I like you! Like so much, God, it makes me question everything and I hate you for that. I don't even know anymore. I just accepted that my life is simply me being at the bottom and staying there because it’s not going to get better, and suddenly you are throwing down rope for me, wanting me to climb up. By taking care of me. By being there. By saying you like me. Making me feel these feelings I've never dealt with before. _Gah!_ "

The young man was almost trembling from the words, so frustrated it seemed like he could explode any moment. Confused, Vanderwood repeated the words Saeran had just said over and over in his head. After the third time, it hit him that Saeran just told him he genuinely loved him, in the only way Saeran could. They were both terrible in conversation, yet here they were trying to admit their feelings in the most awkward way.

It was the best thing he’d ever heard.

He laughed at it all, amused and relieved at the same time. Saeran dropped his frown and stopped trembling, all tension dissolving in an instant.

“You are amazing, you know that?” Vanderwood said earnestly. He always admired how the twins managed to keep on going with all they had gone through. Their family, Mint Eye, the RFA; he brushed it off himself, calling it ridiculous – which it was – but he knew it their life was never easy.

And Saeran was truly amazing, refusing to bend whilst being on his own in an office he’s never been to before, in front of someone taller than him.

He liked how he was able to create such a ferocious blush on the redhead with a simple sentence. With a small sigh, Vanderwood recalled their last encounter and uncrossed his arms, keeping his stance open and welcoming.

“What I said last time we met still stands. I would never want to chain you to anything. Tell me to back off anytime, and I will. Tell me what you want, and I’ll do my best. This won’t be easy for both of us… But we made it this far, right?” he smiled.

Saeran took a good long look at the agent before he replied. Finally, he sighed. “Only if you do the same. You always think you need to be a guardian, but you don’t. Saeyoung and I can take care of ourselves, you know,” he retorted with sudden wisdom. As much as Vanderwood wanted to counter, he knew Saeran was right. “But we both agree it’s nice to see how much you care.” Suddenly Saeran approached him and it made him stand up straight.

They didn’t have much height difference, but Vanderwood couldn’t help feel a lot taller when Saeran looked up at him. The redhead placed his hands on Vanderwood’s arms and made himself a little taller by balancing on his toes, their noses touching, vision blurring from closeness. Vanderwood was sure Saeran could hear his heartbeat – it went so fast he was going to transcend reality.

A few seconds passed before Saeran started to mock-pout. “Are you really going to make me initiate everything?”

Vanderwood smiled. He was tempted to say yes, because something about the way Saeran stalled just to see what the ex-agent would do made him want to tease Saeran more. His yes was drowned out in him leaning forward, meeting the redhead’s warm lips.

The kiss felt clumsy and was short, because they didn’t really know what to do. Yet the moment they pulled away to watch the other, he missed the feeling already. Both their faces had lit up, crimson blush spreading all the way to their ears and down their necks.

The sound of heels tapping on marble outside the office made them both quiet, eyeing the door in case they had to separate fast. The tapping soon faded away and they both let out a sigh.

“It’s late,” Vanderwood said, flustered. He so desperately wanted to kiss Saeran more – he could, he really could now – but this was the most inappropriate place. Mr. Han would have a field day if he found out. “We should go to the bunker. Did you come here on your own?”

Saeran put a hand behind his head, redder than Vanderwood had ever seen him be, which was a feat on its own. “Saeyoung brought me here. We both kind of assumed you would take me home after,” he admitted.

The twins knew him too well. “But what if I had hurt your feelings?” Vanderwood asked. He would sooner chuck himself out of the window and drop down five stories, but he was curious what their plan B was.

“Saeyoung said: ‘Call me and I’ll plant a million dung bombs in his office.’” Saeran shrugged and laughed, though Vanderwood knew Saeyoung could be deadly protective over his brother. The deadly version of Saeyoung is someone he’d prefer not to cross.

He nodded and grabbed his keys, holding the door open for the redhead to leave. The mindless TV show could wait… forever if it was up to him.

Vanderwood didn’t think it was possible to feel more euphoric when Saeran got close enough to him to hold his hand and hide it between them as they headed to the company’s parking lot.  


	8. A New Missive

The wooden walls were covered in photos and drawings. Arms, thighs, backs and chests proudly displaying their colorful or monochrome artworks, art forever embedded into their skin. Sketches of tattoos that may have yet to be drawn by a needle, but good enough for the artist to put them on display. Flowers and birds, skulls and animal prints, squares and circles, abstract to the point of madness or so realistic it might as well have been 3D printed. Every single tattoo more beautiful than that _thing_ on his arm right now.

Saeran couldn’t sit still. His boot tapped the floor erratically and every second he scooted a little further off the chair until he teetered on the edge. A hand on his shoulder suddenly held him steady and his tapping stopped. To his right, Vanderwood, still standing, gave him a calm smile.

“It’s taking so long because she wants to give you the best tattoo possible,” the gentle giant said.

_His_ gentle giant. Sometimes Saeran pinched himself mentally because he couldn’t believe it was real. For weeks he was able to call the taller man his boyfriend, and it was a word he had trouble uttering without becoming a blushy mess. Just like his face was already heating up from the way Vanderwood did his best to make him feel safe.

This had been his idea. The past was done, and he had survived. His body and mind were all his now. Mint Eye, Rika, no one, absolutely no one was allowed to control even the tiniest part of his body. In order to feel complete, in order to move on, he was going to burn the last bridge to the darkest part of his life. When he told Saeyoung, his brother actually started to cry and held him so tight he feared his ribs would break. For some reason, he had been waiting on a bad joke – just like the many of them he had heard when Saeyoung and MC found about him and Vanderwood – but the support of his brother helped him finalize this decision.

He rubbed the offending right arm, fingers tracing over the slight ridges in his skin that told him the tattoo was still there. He wore a tank top on purpose, but it made him feel horrible exposed. If it hadn’t been a long drive, he’d run home to cover himself in sweaters.

“What if she can’t cover it?” Saeran asked, anxiety laced in his voice. It was such a large, ugly black drawing. None of the drawings on the wall would be able to hide it, that was for sure.

Vanderwood grabbed a stool and sat down beside him, moving to wrap an arm around the redhead. “I’ve seen her cover much worse. I know her well, she’s very good at what she does.”

“Did she tattoo you?” Saeran couldn’t recall a single tattoo between the scars on his nude body, from the day he accidentally peeped on the former agent. Perhaps he had one somewhere properly hidden… _Damn it me, this is not the time for those thoughts!_

“No,” Vanderwood said so fast, Saeran raised his eyebrows. “Needles terrify me. But I know she’s helped some of my former friends, before we cut ties years ago.”

“Needles terrify you?”

“Yes. Saeyoung would not stop making fun of me for months when he found out.” Vanderwood frowned as Saeran got a wobbly smile. “Don’t you start.”

Saeran chuckled. “Sorry, I won’t, it’s just that I didn’t expect it.” The big bad agent scared of needles. It was such endearing imagery. Vanderwood’s checks tinted pink and Saeran couldn’t help feel proud that he was the one to do that.

Settling more into his boyfriend’s arm, Saeran realized he knew so little of Vanderwood’s past. Now that there was time, now that Vanderwood visited more for him than just to be a ‘maid’, he wanted to know. He wanted to know everything, and he would answer any questions the former agent had for him as well.

While Saeran made his silent vow, the door opened to reveal a short-haired woman with tattoos covering every inch of her skin, excluding her face. For most Koreans she was odd, but here in her own space, he and Vanderwood were the odd ones out. The two of them separated as she approached.

With a big smile she held her sketchbook out, noticing their anticipation. “So! Thank you for waiting. I was really inspired by how you said you wanted to start over, heal the wounds of the past and move on.”

Saeran nodded, wondering if he had been too vague with his story. He didn’t want to go into detail with his shady past.

“After a bit of research, I drew this for you.” She lifted the flap. On the white paper they saw a black bird, so detailed Saeran could see the gloss of the feathers and the shine in its eye. It stood proudly with its back towards its audience, head turned to look at them.

“A raven,” Saeran stated the obvious.

“Yes. It represents spiritual rebirth, and this will suitably cover up that weird pseudo-tribal tattoo. If you don’t like it, I can make you something else.”

_It also represents mystery,_ Saeran thought. The tattoo artist must know that he’s hiding something. Somehow, he felt he’s told her his life story.

“What do you think?” Vanderwood asked.

_I was going to ask you that._ But then again, no, _he_ had to want it. It was his choice to want to start again in life, to remove what still hurt him.

The raven kept staring back, an inanimate object waiting for his approval to be brought along for life. Saeyoung would have preferred something less… dark. But Saeran was nothing like his brother, and he had finally accepted that.

Saeran smiled. “It’s perfect.”

“Awesome!” the artist exclaimed, and she pointed towards the leather chair in the corner of the room. “You can get seated. It’s a big one so it’s going to take a while.”

Saeran looked to Vanderwood. “If you want, you can go home so you won’t have to wait.”

Vanderwood scoffed. “I’ve waited longer for the best things in my life, what’s a few hours?”

If Saeran wasn’t in a public space right now, he’d hug the former agent and tell him nothing could be better than him.

***

He couldn’t stop admiring his new tattoo in the mirror. It was an exact replica of what his artist had sketched on paper.  The only thing stopping him from touching the glossy feathers was the thick layer of cream and the plastic she had wrapped around his arm to keep it protected. Surrounding the raven were parts of a tree she used to cover the pointy bits of his old tattoo. It was as if Mint Eye had never touched his skin.

“You probably know all this, but just in case: keep it out of the sun and out of the water for at least a few months, wash it with special soap once a day and don’t scratch it no matter how itchy it gets. Here, a pamphlet with everything I said and more.” She handed him a piece of paper with instructions, which Saeran knew Vanderwood was going to making him follow those to a tee. “And most importantly, enjoy,” she finished.

Saeran thanked her as often as he could before they left, Vanderwood merely nodding while he opened the door to the empty, warm evening streets. It hit the redhead that he had been so enamored with his new tattoo that he hadn’t heard his boyfriend utter a word.

“What do you think?” he asked, trying not to sound worried about the fact that perhaps the taller man didn’t like it at all.

He wasn’t prepared for Vanderwood to crack the biggest smile, nor the kiss that made him topple backwards. Vanderwood held him steady, inadvertently intensifying the kiss, sending Saeran reeling. “It’s fantastic,” Vanderwood said as they parted. “And you look fantastic with it. I have never been more proud of you.”

“I… Thank you.”

Saeran allowed himself to hug the taller man tightly, not caring for those passing by, having no words to show his happiness. Vanderwood trying to maneuver to hug him back without touching the tender skin made him laugh.

Soon they would be home and undoubtedly he’d hear what the rest of his family thinks of his tattoo. He wanted to try wearing shirts instead of sweaters in the summer. He wanted to know what it was like to be proud of himself alongside the people he loved, who tell him he should be.  

He couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this series! Thank you so much for reading~ <3 <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> Suggestions are always loved <3


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